Monday, August 4, 2008

Is there something wrong with me?!

Recently my beautiful sister-in-law and my endearing brother told me that they are expecting, again!!! They have the most adorable little boy, Wyatt, who is 11 months. My first reaction was to giggle - both my sis-in-law and brother are hilarious and I can admit that sometimes I'm a little late to the party, but I thought they were joking. Jarred, my brother, quickly gave me a look that said - yep, we're knocked up. Now that the shock has worn off our family is SOOO excited and we are ready to welcome Bundle #2 to the family. 

The day they told us we were at the Zoo and I had this odd feeling that I later shared with Gar. I felt this overwhelming relief that I was not going through a pregnancy right now. My exact thoughts were, better her than me. I told Gar that I feel guilty about not wanting to be pregnant. Learning about the problems we had getting pregnant helped me come up with a plan to get healthy but that plan does not necessary include another pregnancy. 

I keep wondering if there is something wrong with me not wanting to get pregnant. I have so much more peace now knowing that we are going to adopt. When we were trying to get pregnant I don't think I really enjoyed life. Gar and I have been so happy this summer - vacationing, finishing our adoption portfolio, and spending time with our friends. 

I have, just today actually, found a blogger that chose to adopt rather than get pregnant. As unconventional as that choice seems to some, it feels very right to us. I feel so proud of Gar and I for choosing this for ourselves. Perhaps in a few years we may revisit the pregnancy option but right now we are just enjoying the time we have now, together. 


Gar has been reading a great book about adoption and he asked if he could post some of his thoughts about what he's been reading. I am excited that we will both be contributing - so I hope we will hear from him soon.


In case you are interesting in this amazing blog I found here is the link: afrindiemum.org

thanks for reading!!!!


1 comment:

erin said...

I know how you feel! Having been through two pregnancies but now probably being done having children, when one of my friends gets pregnant I wince on the inside, thinking "Better you than me!" It must be our bodies' response to what it already knows: pregnancy is not for us, at least not right now. :)